Make things tough on yourself

Posted: January 21st, 2010 | Filed under: insights | Tags: personal mastery | No Comments »

“Just give me an effing break” I exclaimed walking up the stairs to my flat so loudly that I suspect my neighbours heard (and possibly sympathised).  Another day, another 18 waking hours of having to motivate myself, keep my composure, and remain optimistic as I balance the often competing objectives of: getting married in 3 weeks; starting an entirely new business launching this May, and (it usually feels like) ‘foraging’ for consultancy and coaching income.

Sometimes you just want some invisible hand to come along and give you a leg up; just give you a rest for one day.

And that’s exactly the last thing that you need. The hand one day (if it comes) will only become “just one more time pretty please” and if it happens you won’t stretch yourself. By not stretching yourself you’ll miss out on being amazed by how much you can achieve. That means you will be less inclined to strive to achieve even more. Getting what you ask for is usually the worst thing that can happen. What you don’t ask for but successfully deal with; now that’s how you can achieve even more than you dreamed.

And yesterday – the day of my tired exclamation – I saw that absolutely clearly.  Why?

Because I made two things happen by confronting a couple of difficult situations, situations that if they didn’t go my way would make my life unbelievably difficult, and so ones I had been avoiding.  And what a surprise – with the right preparation and approached in an open non-judgemental manner; the results were even better than I could have imagined.

Then as I kicked back watching Gordon Ramsey on television, I realised again that you don’t achieve greatness by getting a “leg up”.  After touring India Gordon was cooking a dish for an audience of India’s elite.  His goal was to encapsulate in one plate all of the regional flavours he had come across in his travels.  He achieved it.  Not by taking the easy route but by stretching himself, putting himself out there to be judged, and also by adding his personality to the dish so that it became his particular take on Indian food.  My second realisation that day.  Gordon has been awarded 12 Michelin stars and is worth around £60m because he continually does the tough stuff and sets the bar for himself ever-and-ever higher.

So, every day and throughout the day you should:

1. Be honest about the situation you are in.
2. Establish clear goals.
3. Goals which are a stretch and which make you feel uncomfortable.
4. Put your all your passion and energy effectively into making them happen.

Should?  Yes you should if you want to make a difference in your life and  in the world.

Make things tough on yourself. Face up to those difficult situations, go a lot further than makes you feel comfortable.  Then reap the rewards of being yourself, being more creative, and creating a bigger impact.  Or just wallow around and moan about how other people’s lives are easier, better, yawn, yawn, yawn….

Turns out that I did get a break after all.  But I made that break, I moved things on for myself.  And that’s what made it all the more powerful.