Posted: January 21st, 2010 | Filed under: insights | Tags: personal mastery | No Comments »
“Just give me an effing break” I exclaimed walking up the stairs to my flat so loudly that I suspect my neighbours heard (and possibly sympathised). Another day, another 18 waking hours of having to motivate myself, keep my composure, and remain optimistic as I balance the often competing objectives of: getting married in 3 weeks; starting an entirely new business launching this May, and (it usually feels like) ‘foraging’ for consultancy and coaching income.
Sometimes you just want some invisible hand to come along and give you a leg up; just give you a rest for one day.
And that’s exactly the last thing that you need. The hand one day (if it comes) will only become “just one more time pretty please” and if it happens you won’t stretch yourself. By not stretching yourself you’ll miss out on being amazed by how much you can achieve. That means you will be less inclined to strive to achieve even more. Getting what you ask for is usually the worst thing that can happen. What you don’t ask for but successfully deal with; now that’s how you can achieve even more than you dreamed.
And yesterday – the day of my tired exclamation – I saw that absolutely clearly. Why?
Because I made two things happen by confronting a couple of difficult situations, situations that if they didn’t go my way would make my life unbelievably difficult, and so ones I had been avoiding. And what a surprise – with the right preparation and approached in an open non-judgemental manner; the results were even better than I could have imagined.
Then as I kicked back watching Gordon Ramsey on television, I realised again that you don’t achieve greatness by getting a “leg up”. After touring India Gordon was cooking a dish for an audience of India’s elite. His goal was to encapsulate in one plate all of the regional flavours he had come across in his travels. He achieved it. Not by taking the easy route but by stretching himself, putting himself out there to be judged, and also by adding his personality to the dish so that it became his particular take on Indian food. My second realisation that day. Gordon has been awarded 12 Michelin stars and is worth around £60m because he continually does the tough stuff and sets the bar for himself ever-and-ever higher.
So, every day and throughout the day you should:
- Be honest about the situation you are in.
- Establish clear goals.
- Goals which are a stretch and which make you feel uncomfortable.
- Put your all your passion and energy effectively into making them happen.
Should? Yes you should if you want to make a difference in your life and in the world.
Make things tough on yourself. Face up to those difficult situations, go a lot further than makes you feel comfortable. Then reap the rewards of being yourself, being more creative, and creating a bigger impact. Or just wallow around and moan about how other people’s lives are easier, better, yawn, yawn, yawn….
Turns out that I did get a break after all. But I made that break, I moved things on for myself. And that’s what made it all the more powerful.
Posted: January 11th, 2010 | Filed under: insights | Tags: personal mastery | No Comments »
I am massive advocate of finding your purpose in life – the one thing that is unique to you and which is your lasting legacy to the world. Bring that passion into every aspect of your life and live your purpose. That’s what I tell everyone: family, friends, coaching clients and everyone who reads my blog. Passion is the fuel of achieving your purpose. But being passionate without being realistic; then that’s road to penury and chaos.
Sounds harsh?
Example 1. Watching some chefs on television the other day, their passion for great cooking was so evident. However it was clear (even without Gordon Ramsey pointing it out) that this passion was not enough. These chefs weren’t being realistic about the impact that they were having on their co-workers. Frankly many in their brigades just didn’t like working with them; so limiting their potential. Or, they were too focused on the food and not thinking enough about the whole experience for their diners; poor service was keeping the customers away. Again, limiting their potential. They were getting increasingly frustrated that they weren’t fulfilling the potential they knew they had, and so their behaviour became more ineffective in a downward spiral. Chaos.
Example 2. “But the money is SO good” even though I will hate every day of it. Or, the “Second Life Plan” otherwise known as “I hate this job but when X happens…” And X never happens. Actually it’s usually Z, and you lose your job. Penury.
Chase your passion not money but always be realistic about where you are and how you are doing.
If you are chasing money, you are simply someone who is “doing this job because it pays” or “I’ll bear with this for a bit because they’re bound to recognise my efforts”, and a whole host of other situations you will recognise. Chase money, and not your passion, and you put an automatic ceiling on what you can earn and the opportunities that will come your way. Why? Because you will only ever be someone who can fill a role – and there are plenty of people who can do that. You won’t be someone who brings their passion to their work, and so who is unique, who shines through, and so who has a value far in excess of most others.
Live your passion every day, love what you are doing. But if you have no heed of how effective you are being and what your real impact is on the people and the environment around you; that’s where chaos lies. That’s where co-workers find you impossible to work with, where you delude yourself about how much impact you are making, where you think you’re worth X but they would struggle to pay you Y. Frustration, unfulfilled dreams, and generally thrashing around to ‘make things work’; simply because you’re not being realistic about how effectively you are bringing that passion to life.
If you are lucky enough to have worked out what it is – follow your passion; always believe that you will find a way to express that passion to the fullest of your potential and make your mark on the world. But, be absolutely realistic about where you are now; and how you need to BE, and what you need to DO to fulfil your passion. Do that, and you avoid the chaos.
A personal example:
PASSION
I am absolutely passionate about the transforming power of creativity, and view it as my purpose in life to enrich the world by empowering its creativity.
REALITY
I am not making the impact I could on the world because I am not in regular enough work to bring it to work every day, and my reach beyond work to a broader universe could be far larger.
CHAOS
I wasted months last year just chasing income, trying to find work that I was qualified for; rather than work out strategies and tactics to get the work that only I, uniquely, could do and that people would value enough to pay for even in these difficult times. I’m avoiding that chaos by focusing on how I add more value than others, and how I can spread my impact (e.g. this post).
Always be passionate, always be realistic, and only create chaos to create something better.
Still chasing money and hoping?
Posted: January 5th, 2010 | Filed under: insights, life purpose | Tags: personal mastery | No Comments »
2009 was a tough year. I was made redundant and haven’t secured full-time paid employment yet. Despite appearing negative, all times of change are an opportunity for growth and I, like a great many others have been reassessing how to make a living.
Recently I came across the story of R. Buckminster Fuller, the inventor of the geodesic dome, inventor of the word “synergy”, and general modern-day Renaissance Man. In 1927 He was facing tough times; really tough times; a daughter dead at four, five businesses failed, bankruptcy was imminent and his wife had just given birth. He had decided he couldn’t take it any more and went to the shores of Lake Michigan to drown himself. Before doing so he sat on the bank and asked himself a question: was there a God, a greater intelligence operating in the Universe? Yes, he decided, on the basis of “the exquisite design of everything, from the microcosm of atoms to the macromagnitudes of the galaxies”.
Given there must be a God, some form of higher intelligence, he then asked “Do I know best or does God know best whether I may be of any value to the universe?” He concluded that his very existence meant that he had some purpose in life, some value to bring. But what? He asked a third question:
“What does my experience tell me needs to be attended to, which if attended to completely will bring advantage to all humanity, and which if left unattended can very readily have all of humanity in great trouble?”
He didn’t drown himself that day, instead he decided to dedicate his life to answering that question; to focusing all of his energies on his one thing that would change the world for the better.
Nearly 50 years later R. Buckminster Fuller had earned the description of ‘a twentieth-century DaVinci’, and it was estimated that one-quarter of a billion people had come into contact with some aspect of his work.
This story brought home to me again the vital importance of discovering and living your purpose in life – ‘your one thing’. Everyone has a purpose, a unique contribution to the world. We are all utterly unique, and what also makes us unique also mean that we can all have our own individual profound impact on the world that enriches it every day. There are three jobs we all have in life: 1. Find your unique purpose 2. Live it every day 3. Enrich the world with your unique talents.
Your life purpose is the reason why you are here in the world. It’s the impact that the uniqueness that is you can have on the world. Your life purpose is ongoing and a way of being. Your life purpose informs every area of your life. It gives you direction. Because your life purpose is unique to you, it is your source of power.
There are as many different types of life purpose as there are definitions of success. Some people’s purpose will be centred on the achievement of something physical – winning, buying or building something – which in effect amounts to having. Others will be centred on their work, project or career – or what they are doing. Our prime or first purpose, however, is always who we are being. It is who we are being that leads to achieving our life purpose. Your life purpose may not be directly centred on your work but you can always be passionate about your work because it is a vehicle to help you live your life purpose.
Finding your life purpose is about finding the answer to a simple, yet powerful question:
What is the one way of your being that makes you special, that you will be known for, and will be the legacy you leave?
2009 personally was a tough year but I have realised that the way to thrive in 2010 is by adding my unique value to the world in all aspects for my life – my career, family, relationships everything. My unique purpose is my source of value and power. And what is it?
My life purpose is to enrich the world by empowering its creativity. I help create personal and business change for creative people. I do this as a personal mentor and communications strategist. As a personal mentor I help people to create balance in their lives and achieve their dreams. As a strategist I inspire creativity that generates business results.
I intend to make 2010 the ‘year of my one thing’. What is your unique contribution to the world and how will that manifest itself in 2010?
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